


Gay or European

by SakuraRebin



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02, Digimon Adventure tri.
Genre: M/M, Taito, taiyama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:01:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21679150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraRebin/pseuds/SakuraRebin
Summary: This a Taito AU parody of Digimon done to the song "Gay or European". This assumes that Yamato lived most of his life in Europe before moving to Japan.
Relationships: Ishida Yamato | Matt Ishida/Yagami Taichi | Tai Kamiya
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	Gay or European

[Mimi]

There! Right there!

Look at that pale, well tended skin

Look at the killer shape he's in

Look at that slightly stubbly chin

Oh, please, he's gay

Totally gay!

[Joe]

I'm not about to celebrate

Every trait could indicate

A totally straight expatriate

That guy's not gay

I say not gay

[Mimi, Joe, Koushiro, Miyako, Daisuke, Ken]

That is the elephant in the room

Well, is it relevant to assume

That a man who wears perfume

Is automatically, radically fae?

[Koushiro]

But look at his coiffed and crispy locks

[Mimi]

Look at his silk translucent socks

[Joe]

There's the eternal paradox

Look what we're seein'

[Ken]

What are we seein'?

[Joe]

Is he gay?

[Mimi]

Of course he's gay!

[Joe]

Or European?

[Mimi, Joe, Koushiro, Miyako, Daisuke, Ken]

Ohhhh

Gay or European?

It's hard to guarantee

Is he gay or European?

[Daisuke]

Well, hey, don't look at me!

[Ken]

You see they bring their boys up different

In those charming foreign ports

They play peculiar sports

[Mimi, Joe, Koushiro, Miyako, Daisuke, Ken]

In shiny shirts and tiny shorts

Gay or foreign fella?

The answer could take weeks

They both say things like "Ciao, Bella"

While they kiss you on both cheeks

[Mimi]

Oh, please

[Mimi, Joe, Koushiro, Miyako, Daisuke, Ken]

Gay or European?

So many shades of gray

[Daisuke]

Depending on the time of day

The French go either way

[Mimi, Joe, Koushiro, Miyako, Daisuke, Ken]

Is he gay or European, or--?

[Miyako]

There, right there!

Look at that condescending smirk

Seen it on every guy at work

That is a metro, hetero jerk

That guy's not gay, I say, no way

[Mimi, Joe, Koushiro, Miyako, Daisuke, Ken]

That is the elephant in the room

Well is it relevant to presume

That a hottie in that costume

[Mimi]

Is automatically, radically

[Daisuke]

Ironically, chronically

[Ken]

Certainly, flirtingly

[Joe]

Genetically, medically

[Mimi, Joe, Koushiro, Miyako, Daisuke, Ken]

Gay, offically gay

Officially gay, gay, gay, gay...

Damn it!

Gay or European?

[Joe]

So stylish and relaxed

[Mimi, Joe, Koushiro, Miyako, Daisuke, Ken]

Is he gay or European?

[Joe]

I think his chest is waxed

[Ken]

But they bring their boys up different there

It's culturally diverse

It's not a fashion curse

[Mimi, Joe, Koushiro, Miyako, Daisuke, Ken]

If he wears a kilt or bears a purse

Gay or just exotic?

I still can't crack the code

[Miyako]

Yeah, his accent is hypnotic

But his shoes are pointy toed

[Mimi, Joe, Koushiro, Miyako, Daisuke, Ken, Hikari]

Huh

Gay or European?

So many shades of gray

[Jun]

But if he turns out straight

I'm free at eight on Saturday

[Mimi, Joe, Koushiro, Miyako, Daisuke, Ken, Hikari]

Is he gay or European?

Gay or European?

Gay or Euro--

[Koushiro]

Wait a minute

Give me a chance to crack this guy

I have an idea I'd like to try

[Joe]

The floor is yours

[Koushiro]

So, Mr. Ishida

This alleged affair with Ms. Takenouchi has been going on for...?

[Yamato]

Two years

[Koushiro]

And your first name again is...?

[Yamato]

Yamato

[Koushiro]

And your boyfriend's name is...?

[Yamato]

Taichi

[Mimi, Joe, Koushiro, Miyako, Daisuke, Ken]

Gasp

[Yamato]

I-I, sorry!

I misunderstand!

You say "boyfriend"

I thought you say "best friend"

Taichi is my best friend

[Taichi]

You bastard!

You lying bastard!

That's it, I won't no cover for you no more!

Peoples, I have a big announcement

This man is gay AND European

[ENSEMBLE]

Whoa!

[Taichi]

And neither is disgrace

You gotta stop your bein'

A completely closet case

It's me, not her he's seein'

No matter what he say

I swear he never, ever, ever swing the other way

You are so gay, you big parfait

You flaming one man cabaret

[Yamato]

I'm straight!

[Taichi]

You were not yesterday

So if I may, I'm proud to say

He's gay

[ENSEMBLE]

And European!

[Taichi]

He's gay

[ENSEMBLE]

And European!

[Taichi]

He's gay

[ENSEMBLE]

And European

And gay

[Yamato]

Fine, okay, I'm gay

[Taichi/ENSEMBLE]

Hooray!

[Yamato and Taichi]

Fine. Okay. We're gay!

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help myself. I hope people enjoy this... I didn't have enough girls to work with because Hikari felt awkward and I didn't want to use Sora, so yes, I gave Ken some lines that were originally done by a girl. If you have never heard the song you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-01cO73qRU. I do not own Digimon or this song.


End file.
